Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Thursday, July 02, 2015
Monday, June 15, 2015
11 Things Smart People Won't Say
Sunday, June 14, 2015, Dr. Travis Bradberry, Coauthor Emotional Intelligence
There are some things you simply never want to say at work.
These phrases carry special power: they have an uncanny ability to make you look bad even when the words are true.
Worst of all, there's no taking them back once they slip out.
I'm not talking about shocking slips of the tongue, off-color jokes, or politically incorrect faux pas. These aren't the only ways to make yourself look bad.
Often it's the subtle remarks—the ones that paint us as incompetent and unconfident—that do the most damage.
No matter how talented you are or what you've accomplished, there are certain phrases that instantly change the way people see you and can forever cast you in a negative light. These phrases are so loaded with negative implications that they undermine careers in short order.
How many of these career killers have you heard around the office lately?
Everyone knows that life isn't fair. Saying suggests that you think life is supposed to be fair, which makes you look immature and naïve.
If you don't want to make yourself look bad, you need to stick to the facts, stay constructive, and leave your interpretation out of it. For instance, you could say, "I noticed that you assigned Ann that big project I was hoping for. Would you mind telling me what went into that decision? I'd like to know why you thought I wasn't a good fit, so that I can work on improving those skills."
Technology-fueled change is happening so fast that even a six-month-old process could be outdated. Saying not only makes you sound lazy and resistant to change, but it could make your boss wonder why you haven't tried to improve things on your own. If you really are doing things the way they've always been done, there's almost certainly a better way.
When someone asks you to do something or thanks you for doing something, and you tell them you're implying that their request should have been a problem. This makes people feel as though they've imposed upon you.
What you want to do instead is to show people that you're happy to do your job. Say something like "It was my pleasure" or "I'll be happy to take care of that." It's a subtle difference in language, but one that has a huge impact on people.
These overly passive phrases instantly erode your credibility. Even if you follow these phrases with a great idea, they suggest that you lack confidence, which makes the people you're speaking to lose confidence in you.
Don't be your own worst critic. If you're not confident in what you're saying, no one else will be either. And, if you really don't know something, say, "I don't have that information right now, but I'll find out and get right back to you."
Saying that something only takes a minute undermines your skills and gives the impression that you rush through tasks. Unless you're literally going to complete the task in 60 seconds, feel free to say that it won't take long, but don't make it sound as though the task can be completed any sooner than it can actually be finished.
Just like the word sounds tentative and suggests that you lack confidence in your ability to execute the task. Take full ownership of your capabilities. If you're asked to do something, either commit to doing it or offer an alternative, but don't say that you'll try because it sounds like you won't try all that hard.
There is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. If your remark is accurate, everybody already knows it, so there's no need to point it out. If your remark is inaccurate, you're the one who ends up looking like a jerk.
There will always be rude or incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are. If you don't have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing your colleague's incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your coworkers' negative opinions of you.
This often sarcastic phrase makes you sound as though you're only willing to do the bare minimum required to keep getting a paycheck, which is a bad thing if you like job security.
If your boss asks you to do something that you feel is inappropriate for your position (as opposed to morally or ethically inappropriate), the best move is to complete the task eagerly. Later, schedule a conversation with your boss to discuss your role in the company and whether your job description needs an update. This ensures that you avoid looking petty. It also enables you and your boss to develop a long-term understanding of what you should and shouldn't be doing.
It's never a good idea to cast blame. Be accountable. If you had any role—no matter how small—in whatever went wrong, own it. If not, offer an objective, dispassionate explanation of what happened. Stick to the facts, and let your boss and colleagues draw their own conclusions about who's to blame.
The moment you start pointing fingers is the moment people start seeing you as someone who lacks accountability for their actions. This makes people nervous. Some will avoid working with you altogether, and others will strike first and blame you when something goes wrong.
istwisted sister. People don't like to hear because they think it means Saying suggests that you're not willing to do what it takes to get the job done.
If you really can't do something because you truly lack the necessary skills, you need to offer an alternative solution. Instead of saying what you do, say what you do. For example, instead of saying "I can't stay late tonight," say "I can come in early tomorrow morning. Will that work?" Instead of "I can't run those numbers," say "I don't yet know how to run that type of analysis. Is there someone who can show me so that I can do it on my own next time?"
The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as a negative person and brings down the morale of the group. Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.
Eliminating these phrases from your vocabulary pays dividends. They have a tendency to sneak up on you, so you're going to have to catch yourself until you've solidified the habit of saying them.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
90 TIPS FROM TOASTMASTERS
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Monday, March 16, 2015
وَہاں نہ پُھول کِھلتے ہیں نہ ہی مَوسَم بَدَلتے ہیں،
وَہاں تَو کُچھ نَہِیں ہَوتا جَہاں پَر تُم نَہِیں ہَوتے،
یَہاں وَیسے تَو ہَر سَوغات آسانی سے مِلتی ہے،
پَر مَیرا دِل نَہِیں لَگتا جَہاں پَر تُم نَہِیں ہَوتے،
یَہاں تَو لَوگ صَدِیُوں کَو بھی لَمحُوں میں بَدَلتے ہیں،
مَیرا اِک پَل نَہِیں کَٹتا جَہاں پَر تُم نَہِیں ہَوتے،
سَبَب رَونے کا وہ پُوچَھیں تَو قاصَد اِتنا کَہہ دَینا،
مُجھے ہَنسنا نَہِیں آتا جَہاں پَر تُم نَہِیں ہَوتے...!
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
10 Buddha Quotes To Make You More At Peace With Yourself
It doesn't matter what religion you practice, what your background is or where you stand in life.
Buddha created and inspired generations of people to be their best selves, no matter where they came from.
Some of his sayings are the most intelligent in the world and incredibly life-changing. By understanding and analyzing his work, he can teach us so much about how to live our lives to the fullest.
"All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?"
We must change the way we think about things in order for them to be better. If our thought process changes, so will our lives.
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything."
It's just like the old saying, we are what we think we are. We can't expect to be good if we don't think we are.
We can't expect to succeed in life if secretly, deep down inside, we truly believe we can't. When our beliefs about ourselves change, so do our outcomes.
"To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others"
It is more difficult to figure out where we are going in life than it is to figure out someone else. It is the most rewarding task because of how great the challenge is.
The path to discovering ourselves will be the hardest path we have to pave, but it will also lead us to be the best we can be.
"What we think, we become."
The people who stay put in life are the people who believed that was where they would end up.
If you dream big, big things happen, no matter how crazy people tell you that you are. We can become anything, as long as we think it.
"Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it."
If the work you are doing doesn't make you want to wake up every morning, then it's time to find new work. There are only so many days in our lives to do what we love to do.
"The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed."
Some people have fear that gets in the way of their dreams. They have a bucket list of things that have never been completed because they fear what others may think.
When you clear the fear from your mind, life will be more open to you.
"You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself"
There is no way to go further in life if you are unwilling to give it your all. You must pave your own path to know the path that is best. You cannot follow someone else's path because you have not created it.
"The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows."
Some hide in fear of what others may think of them because of what society tells them. Those who are not afraid of themselves are not afraid of anything.
Express your feelings, follow what moves you and never be afraid to be you.
"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."
Those who live in jealousy and hate will eventually fall to it. If you let go of the past, there is less to worry about.
Don't be upset with things you cannot control. For those things that you can control take the time to acknowledge your anger and move on from it.
"Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely."
If you live every day to the fullest, you will not be afraid to die tomorrow.
If this isn't the way you feel every day when you wake up, you must make a change to your life. Those who are not afraid to die are those who have learned to live.
Monday, January 05, 2015
20 Quick Reads that Will Change the Way You Live, Love and Work..
Lovely poem by Reshmi Trivedi —————————————— Sometimes in the dark of the night, I visit my conscience To see if it is still breathing, F...
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محبتوں میں ہر ایک لمحہ وصال ہو گا۔۔۔ یہ طے ہوا تھا۔ بچھڑ کے بھی ایک دوسرے کا خیال ہو گا۔۔۔ یہ طے ہوا تھا۔ ۔۔ وہی ہُوا نا ، بدلتے موسم میں تم...
Do Chidiyo ki Love Story: Ek Din Chida Bola: Mujhe Chor kar kabhi Tum Ud to nahi Jaogi?? Chidiya: Ud jaun to Tum Pakar lena. Chida: Main ...