Beat Life's Biggest Little Stressors
Feel better fast by squelching these nuisances before they gang up on you.
By Mike Zimmerman, Men's Health
Source: http://health.msn.com/health-topics/mental-health/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100244527&Gt1=31036
Maybe your right eye starts twitching when you glimpse your disappearing 'do in the mirror. Or perhaps you fling sofa pillows across the room every time your team blows yet another 20-point lead. This isn't mere annoyance rearing its head—it's bona fide stress, and proof that real anxiety can spring from far more than relationship angst, finances, and work. "These are the little things that men never think about, but should," says Glenn Good, Ph.D., a psychologist specializing in male gender issues at the University of Missouri. "They can be chronic and ugly, and seriously compromise your health as they stack up." Indeed, stressed-out people are 54 percent more likely to suffer heart attacks and strokes, a 2008 British study found. And a Swedish study from the same year suggests that stress can double a man's chance of developing diabetes.
We polled more than 1,500 men to find out which stressors lurk in the backgrounds of their lives. Who knew that something as mundane as sharing a checkbook can cause so much tension? Or that simply finding time to exercise can seriously strain your mental muscles? You need a smart strategy to battle these nuisances. Use our tips, provided by experts who sweat the small stuff, so you can focus your energy on what really matters—the rest of your life.
Big little stressor No. 1: Insecurity
Not surprisingly, paying bills, managing debt and sticking to a budget scored highest of all the stressors in our survey. But guess what? It's not about the money, says Thomas Miller, Ph.D., a University of Kentucky psychologist and the author of Handbook of Stressful Life Transitions Across the Lifespan. "Much financial stress actually has to do with uncertainty—about your money situation, yes, but that really means your job. Not knowing specifics about where you stand eats at you like acid."
Bing Search: Men's Health
View results for: Eating Right Workouts Sexual Health
Defuse it: Go on a fact-finding mission, Miller says. Demand answers to those elephant-in-the-room questions at work. Ask your boss how you fit into the company's plans, or what you can do to make yourself more valuable. If he pauses or doesn't appear truthful, push him with "Can you be more specific?" or even "So do you think I should be concerned?" "The more answers you're given about your situation, the more clarity you'll have—and clarity equals control," Miller says.
Bonus tip: Worried about your job? Relieve your stress by using these 6 tricks to prevent being laid off.
Big little stressor No. 2: Hair loss
More than half the men in our poll felt stressed about their images, and many specified hair loss as the mane, er, main culprit. They're not alone: A 2005 Mayo Clinic Proceedings review cites multiple studies showing that male pattern baldness negatively affects men's feelings of attractiveness and body image. "For those guys who are feeling judged by their hair loss, the stress is very real," Good says.
Defuse it: Reframe the problem as a medical issue, Good suggests. Treating hair loss with transplants costs $4,500 on average, while drug treatments can cost as much as $60 a month, for decades. Then run the numbers and decide if the expense is truly worth it to you, Good says. If it is, then go for it. But if you think you can deal with it as a mere medical inconvenience, you'll be more easily able to snuff out this stressor.
Bonus tip: Find out which hair-loss treatments work best—and which you shouldn't waste your money on—here.
Big little stressor No. 3: Exercise
How's this for a bitter irony: Exercise is a well-known stress buster, yet nearly a third of the men in our poll rated sticking to an exercise program a 7 or higher on a 10-point stress scale. First, you stress about missing a workout or not exercising at all. Second, as you attempt to carve out time to exercise, your stress skyrockets as you cram in all the other things you need to accomplish that day. "That struggle may affect how and what you're eating," Miller says, "and now your food intake becomes a stressor."
Defuse it: Miller suggests portion control—for your workout schedule. Shrink your exercise "portions" by boosting intensity: Turn your cardio routine into a shorter interval workout that alternates sprints with your normal pace. (You'll also boost fat-burning this way.) If you're lifting weights, cut your between-set rest in half—go from a minute to 30 seconds between each of 12 sets, and you'll save six minutes. Then look for ways to condense other activities: showering, cooking, surfing the Web, and so forth. You have the time. You simply have to own it.
Bonus tip: Always have a workout on hand with the upgraded Men's Health iPhone app. It's like having your own personal trainer, 24/7, wherever you go.
Big little stressor No. 4: Co-managing the cash
Financial stress can be much worse for men when they're in a relationship, because a man's view of the situation is often different from a woman's. "Sometimes the views are diametrically opposed," says Jay Zagorsky, Ph.D., an Ohio State University economist. His research, published in the Journal of Socio-Economics, found that men tended to report much higher values for assets, such as a home or car, while women inflated debt totals. (Estimates of income and net worth varied, too.) This also shows that couples often don't know how much money they have, or won't talk about money honestly, Good says. "They refuse to address it because it's awkward or embarrassing or there's so much baggage that they don't want to bring it up," he says. Stress builds until the two of you collide over something like spending habits or large purchases. Then it explodes.
Defuse it: Take 15 minutes over a weekend breakfast to write down your estimated assets, debts and net worth, Good suggests. Do this separately, and then compare your numbers with recent statements. If you share long-term financial goals and understand that you also share the day-to-day responsibility to work toward them, then the obvious imbalances in spending—you spend $50 more each month on coffee than she does, for instance—become easier to renegotiate. A sense of mutual fairness allows your stress level to drop, Good says.
Bonus tip: Your relationship isn't the only thing that causes anxiety about money. Here's how to solve your six biggest money worries.
Big little stressor No. 5: Your team
One in four men in our poll rated watching their team lose a 7 or higher on the stress scale. Research shows that the deeper our dedication to a team or a player, the more likely we are to transform emotional reactions into hostility—and that anger takes a toll on your health big time. You rip open the sofa pillow, your day turns sour and friends and family hide. Miller, who's also a sports psychologist, knows the feeling: He's a Cincinnati Reds fan.
Defuse it: Find an online forum that discusses your favorite team, and dump your bile there. A University of Mississippi study found that fans posting on online message boards after their team lost a championship game posted "aggressive" comments, but the researchers argue that virtual venting may be a good thing. "Blogs and forums offer a place for socially acceptable displays of aggression," writes Brad Schultz, Ph.D., the study's lead author. "The language may be rough and the attitudes tough, but the losers can commiserate, and no one is hurt physically. Above all, it gives fans a place to go and share their experiences and look for understanding with other like-minded individuals."
Bonus tip: Stress can strike when you're playing sports, too. Here's how to de-stress your day—including that moment when you're standing over a putt.
Big little stressor No. 6: Morons
One guy summed up the problem in two words: "stupid people." Simply living your life means dealing with inconsiderate people, crappy service and the general cloggers of society's arteries. Remember, Miller says, you can't influence them: "You see that these people aren't making the best decisions and think you can do better. As a result, you feel less in control, and that's a serious hidden stressor."
Defuse it: Don't become embroiled in the morons' messes. "I experience their nonsense every single day," says business consultant Larry Winget, host of A&E's Big Spender and the author of People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It. "Two things tend to bring me comfort. First, knowing that sometimes I'm an idiot, too. I also remind myself of a quote I heard many years ago: 'When you give someone a piece of your mind, you've given up your peace of mind.' If you try to influence them, you give them control over you. I've driven myself crazy trying to fix people I know cannot be fixed, and don't want to be fixed. Now, I refuse to do that. It's more fun if I just find them entertaining."
