Women are Clever!

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

 

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes -- that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

 

The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."

 

The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

 

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

 

The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM - she's the richest woman in the world!

 

Then the frog inquired about her third wish and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

 

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!

Free Meat

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?

 

Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

 

He had been counting the years off on his calender, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."

 

"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

 

When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said,

 

"Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on HIS face!" "

George Carlin on Aging - Absolutely Brilliant

Enjoy the ride. There is no return ticket.

IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SHARE IT WITH OTHERS.

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone…

But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30,  PUSH 40, REACH 50 and makeit to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into ! your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. ! Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's  family name is Alzheimer's.
4.  Enjoy the simple things.
5.  Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6.  The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. And if you don't send this to at least 8 people – who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting '..holy cow ….what a ride!'

Special Thanks to my friend: Imran Khan

Beautiful story about QURAN.

Why do we read Quran, even if we can't understand a single Arabic word????
 

This is a beautiful story. 
 
An old American Muslim lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Quran.  His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

 

One day the grandson asked, 'Grandpa! I try to read the Quran just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur'an do?'

 

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied,
'Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water.'

 

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, 'You'll have to move a little faster next time,' and sent him back to the river with the basket
to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket
instead.

 

The old man said, 'I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water.
 
You're just not trying hard enough,' and he went out the door to watch the boy try again. 

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into
river and ran hard, but when   he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, 'See Grandpa, it's useless!' 

 

'So you think it is useless?' The old man said, 'Look at the basket.'

 

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and
was now clean, inside and out.

 

'Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out.  That is the work of Allah in our lives.'

 

Prophet  Muhammad (PBUH) says: *'The one who guides to good will be  rewarded equally'*

 

Please share.

Guardian Angel!

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
 
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
 
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die."
 
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
 
The man asked. "Who are you?"
 

 

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
 

 

"Oh, yeah?" the man exclaimed "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

Our New Hero