men will try everything

A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan.

 

Realising he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

 

'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'

 

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

 

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00'. 'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

 

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the pening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.

 

With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit................................. which now had a button sewn neatly on the end... Ouch!!!!

 

 

6 Keys to success

"The six keys to success".

Right off the bat:

 

Don't confuse how much money one has as to his or her success!

These keys will not unlock any opportunities of success without first having a

 

strong and unfailing faith in God or that Being which is greater than you. 
Please don't go through life as your "own little god." 

I encourage you to memorize these six keys
By using the word ADVICE to do so.

1. Attitude
Bloom where you are planted. You have a choice to get back up after temporary setbacks. Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference!



2. Direction
If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. Write your short term goals down on paper. I have discovered and continue to discover that putting your dreams and goals down on paper lock in or focus your belief that they can be achieved--even if you have to take a course correction in achieving your goals. Success comes in cans, failure comes in can't's.



3. Values
Explore what is important to you. Maybe it is family, friends, your spirituality or working hard at any given task. I can assure you that your priorities will change as you grow older. Very important that you value yourself and treat yourself like the valuable gift from God that you are.



4. Interests
Birds of a feather flock together. This is to say that if you are hanging around winners or others with a "can do" mind-set, you'll likely adapt to this same kind of thinking. Remember--"SUCCESS LEAVES CLUES!



5. Commitment
Feelings may change, commitments do not. "Success is getting up one more time than you fall." I have often wanted to give up, and then I must think to myself about what the consequences of giving up will be. Generally, this is more than enough of a motivation to make us stick to the task at hand even if we don't feel like it. When the task is achieved, Whow!--IT FEELS GREAT!



6. Encouragement
Be an encourager and comforter to friends that are feeling discouraged. I promise that you will not regret this as you will be encouraged by one, if not many, when you are feeling down. Encouragement and love are contagious qualities that can change the minds of the most stubborn and "hard-to-get- along-with" people you know. I have seen it happen over and over again.

Hang tough, press on, & NEVER, EVER, EVER, quit!

 

 

Interesting Definitions......

School:

A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.

Life Insurance:

A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:

A person who works up to give you sleeping pills.

 

Love Affairs:

Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce:

Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:

A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic:

Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:

A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:


A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

 

 

 

Thanks & Regards

>

 

Halloween Party.

Third note: A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. The wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party and have a good time. Being the devoted husband, he protested; but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed. She insisted that there was no need for him to miss the fun. So he took his costume and away he went. After sleeping soundly for an hour, the wife awakened without pain; and since it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Because her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some kicks watching him to see how he acted when she was not around. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor. He was dancing with every nice looking woman he could and was copping a feel here and taking a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him; and since she was a rather seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new "action". She let him go as far as he wished. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home, put the costume away, and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for his outrageous behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked him what he had done. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I never even danced one dance. When I got to the party, I met Pete, Bill, and some other guys; so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy that I loaned my costume to sure had one hell of a time!" - Celeste

Scientists cautiously optimistic as Doomsday clock reset

Members of the Board of Sponsors hold a press conference announcing the adjustment by one minute back of the "Doomsday Clock" in New York City. -AFP Photo

NEW YORK: The minute hand of the Doomsday clock was moved back slightly Thursday, indicating the world has inched away from nuclear or environmental catastrophe, but stressing it was not out danger.

"It is six minutes to midnight," the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, which created the Doomsday clock in 1947, said in a statement read out as the clock's countdown to midnight was nudged back by one minute from where it has been since 2007.

 

"For the first time since atomic bombs were dropped in 1945, leaders of nuclear weapons states are cooperating to vastly reduce their arsenals and secure all nuclear bomb-making material," the statement by the panel of international scientists, including 19 Nobel laureates, said.

 

"For the first time ever, industrialized and developing countries alike are pledging to limit climate-changing gas emissions that could render our planet nearly uninhabitable.

"These unprecedented steps are signs of a growing political will to tackle the two gravest threats to civilization -- the terror of nuclear weapons and runaway climate change," it said.

 

Since it was created by scientists who helped to develop the world's first atomic weapons, the Doomsday clock has come to be seen as a barometer of what progress, if any, the world has made in moving away from the risk of nuclear, climate-caused or bio-warfare catastrophe.

 

Midnight on the clock signifies the apocalypse, and the minute hand symbolizes the countdown to disaster.

The last time the minute hand of the clock was moved was in 2007, when it was bumped two minutes closer to midnight.

In resetting the clock this year, the scientists said they were encouraged by recent developments, but had put back the clock by only one minute to show they were "mindful that the clock is ticking," said BAS's Lawrence Krauss.

"We moved it back by just one minute and what that means is that there's great potential for it to move again, in either direction," said Krauss, a physicist and co-chair of BAS's board of sponsors.

"We have a unique opportunity right now to begin to free ourselves from the terror of nuclear weapons and to slow drastic changes to our shared global environment.

"We must take advantage of that opportunity now," said Krauss, calling on world leaders, scientists and ordinary people to work together to make the world safer. "Let's not blow it," he urged.

The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists was founded in 1945 by scientists from the University of Chicago who had helped to develop the first atomic weapons. -AFP

 

 

My Dream Car..

 

Some Wonderful Paintings : Designer Unknown

 

Looks 2009

 

Which Gender is Intelligent ??

A Proof of which Gender is Intelligent An English professor wrote the words:

 

" A woman without her man is nothing"

 

on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly..

 

All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

 

All the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

 

Punctuation is powerful!!

18 ANSWERS OF THE HOLY PROPHET - MUST READ

A traveller once came to the masjid to see the Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) after greeting the prophet, he was asked where he was from. The traveller replied that he came from very far just to get a few questions answered.

 

Following is the dialogue between the traveller and the Prophet.

 

Traveller : I do not want adhab (punishments) to be written in my account.
*Prophet : Behave well with your parents *

 

Traveller : I want to be known amongst people as an intelligent person.
*Prophet : Fear Allah (Jalla Jalal), always. *

 

Traveller : I want to be counted amongst Allah's favourites.
*Prophet : Recite Quran every morning and evening. *

 

Traveller : I want my heart to always be enlightened. ( Munawer )
*Prophet : Never forget death. *

 

Traveller : I never want to be away from Allah's blessing.
*Prophet : Always treat fellow creatures well. *

 

Traveller : I never want to be harmed by my enemies.
*Prophet : Always have faith in only Allah. *

 

Traveller : I never want to be humiliated.
*Prophet : Be careful of your actions. *

 

Traveller : I wish to live long.
*Prophet : Always do sile rahm. (Goodness towards blood Relations) *

 

Traveller : I want my sustenance to increase.
*Prophet : Always be in wudhoo. *

 

Traveller : I wish to stay free of adha?b in the grave.
*Prophet : Always wear pure (paak) clothes. *

 

Traveller : I never want to be burned in hell.
*Prophet : Control your eyes and tongue. *

 

Traveller : How do I get my sins forgiven?
*Prophet : Always ask forgiveness from Allah with a lot of humility. *

 

Traveller : I want people to respect me always.
*Prophet : Never extend your hands of need at people. *

 

Traveller : I want to always be honoured.
*Prophet : Never humiliate or put down anyone. *

 

Traveller : I don't want to be squeezed by fishare qabr. (Squeezing in the grave)
*Prophet : Recite Surat Al Mulk (The Dominion) often. *

 

Traveller : I want my wealth to increase.
*Prophet : Recite surat el Waqiah (The Inevitable) every night. *

 

Traveller : I want to be safe and at peace on Day of Judgment.
*Prophet : Do zikr (Praises) of Allah from dusk to night. *

 

Traveller : I want to be in full attention & concentration during prayers.
*Prophet : Always do wudhoo with concentration and attention. *